Much of the Montessori philosophy stems from a deep respect for children; from respecting their freedom to choose, to move, to correct their own mistakes, and to work at their own pace, to using real words to describe and categorize things, Montessori Guides and Aides work from a genuine place of respect. Explain to your child which words and actions show respect and which ones do not. Here’s why it’s important, and 7 ways you can create an atmosphere of respect at home. Model Respectful Behavior. Keep in mind the saying "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." To avoid fueling helplessness, I encourage parents to respond with a question of their own. Or last summer at the lake, we had the best time. Children who don't respect themselves are more likely to drink alcohol, take drugs, have sex, and treat others badly. I can’t do it!”, Parent:   “What is the problem asking you to do? This is just the beginning of a morning (or full day) of decisions that lead to a mutual respect between Guide and child. Reliability. As your child reaches three years old, you start to teach the “why” behind it all while keeping the same standards. A well-intentioned adult walks up enthusiastically and wants to know how 1st grade is going for our little man. The best way to teach respect is to show respect. Draw & Write: A simple activity is to have children draw or write what respect means to them. You’ll be amazed at how their sense of personal significance will grow. You don't call people names because you care about (respect) their feelings. What does it look like to show our kids respect? Put your toys and items away, and put away dirty clothes. That allows him to take that leap – eventually – on his terms. By giving your child space to share in a comfortable way when he’s ready, you offer him the same respect you appreciate from others. For more information about our school, please visit our main site at http://www.villadimaria.org. Don't teach a child to be ashamed of his or her accessibility equipment, therapists, or coping methods (for example, stimming). 7 Ways to Show Respect to Children. You follow your parents' rules to show them you care (respect) how they feel about the situation. After all, no one likes a  boss who micromanages every detail of a project. He’s the one who knows.”, 5. Yes, you can show it with actions, but it is still different when you tell them. By implementing these 5 strategies, you will show your kids you respect them and you will empower them to have a greater sense of capability and autonomy. Skin-to-skin cuddles, babywearing, and cosleeping are all great ways to facilitate close contact. Out of frustration or exhaustion or lack of appropriate tools, parents may sometimes respond in ways that discourage kids from asking questions – “How many times have I told you?” “Don’t ask me that again” or “I don’t know!” Â. When it comes to discipline in my home, I only have one rule: respect. ALL THE DETAILS. For example, role-playing with scenario cards can help. When you’re ready, you’ll use the potty.”, “You need to practice for your piano lessons.”, “I trust you know what you need to do to prepare well for your piano lessons.”, If that’s the case for you, I’d love to have you, The “Me, Me, Me” Epidemic - A Step-by-Step Guide to Raising Capable, Grateful Kids in an Over-Entitled World, If I Have to Tell You One More Time…The Revolutionary Program That Gets Your Kids to Listen Without Nagging, Reminding or Yelling, 3 Simple Words to End Child Nagging and Negotiating, Why Do Kids Whine? Guides encourage parents to allow their children to walk into the classroom on their own, carrying their own belongings. NOTE:  No questions about the micro-details of his day! How to Teach Respect to Kids Be A Role Model. When kids are on the firing line of our barrage of questions, it’s no wonder they clam up. The answer is that WE have to model the respect we hope to see from our kids. Come on, Luke, just get in. Sign me up! What have you learned from other problems that might help you with this one?”, A note to remember: Just because you shouldn’t be quick to respond does not mean you DON’T respond. Just imagine, you’ve planned the perfect pool day for your entire family. Allow ... Use good manners when interacting with children. Obviously, it’s important children know how to act in a civilized society – but let’s be honest, we also feel incredibly guilty or embarrassed when OUR kids are disrespectful. Allow your children to learn about the texture, weight, and moisture of the soil in your backyard, by making mudpies or planting bulbs if they are a bit older. When parents respond quickly to every question, request, or inquiry, children learn to depend on instant responses and feel frustrated when parents don’t respond with haste. they interact with. My favorite part of the day is when you come home!”. Respect demands that we treat... 2. Today we focus on respect. Do you see your brother? As you’ll learn in this article, there are a few ways even well-intentioned parents accidentally undermine the development of this mutually respectful relationship without even knowing it. This blog gives a look inside our school, as well as insights into the Montessori approach to education. A child who wants to provoke a reaction will endure almost any unpleasantness just to get a rise out of you. People who respect other people and their property are such a blessing in society! This website uses cookies for a variety of purposes more fully described in our, I totally get how frustrating that is. We reinforce that their opinion isn’t valued, We rescue the less socially confident (shy) child from an uncomfortable situation. The sandwiches are made, towels are in the bag, pool toys are bursting out of the trunk and you’re determined to have a great day. It is also one that goes through several transformations, good and bad. Here are 5 ways to show respect, develop your child’s capability and avoid power struggles: Kids’ tight lips don’t necessarily mean they don’t want to share – they. This can be seen in the way adults sometimes interrupt, talk over, or dismiss something a child has to say. For many, disciplining children is a daily challenge. The idea that children deserve to be treated with respect and dignity is. One way to be respectful and polite is to clean up after yourself. Tell them you love them as often as possible. Listening is one way to show respect for each other, and respect is essential to building good relationships, whether it’s between friends, partners, or siblings. This is a wonderful way to put the monkey on your child’s back and give him the opportunity to wrestle with the question at hand. As an added bonus, when children feel valued and capable, they are less likely to engage in power struggles. Respect the child's differences. Sign up for my newsletter for parenting tips to help you create a happier home and become the parent you always wanted to be. Ask Fewer Questions. Recognize your efforts, rather than focusing only on results “Come on!” you cry, “It’s going to be so much fun! With all of that in mind, here are some of the ways that you can show respect to your children and avoid those power struggles that can come at all different ages. (And even then, your child still might not share if you haven’t developed a trusting relationship where they feel comfortable sharing.). “His school is great! Wait to Respond. As you walk onto the pool deck and lather your children in sunscreen, your older son cannonballs into the water with enthusiasm while your 6-year-old son sits solemnly on the pool chair. You don't hit or otherwise hurt people because you care about (respect) their well-being. What was once meant to be a fun day at the pool has become a poolside power struggle. Teach the Importance of Respect . 40. Have them share it with the class or in small groups. “I sure do miss you when you’re at school! Instead, get face to face and say quietly but firmly, "We don't call each other names in this family." I see it all the time – parents lamenting the fact that their children are “disrespectful” or “don’t respect my rules” or “show no respect to their elders.”. The truth is, you may feel like you’re already doing that and the respect still isn’t reciprocated. What is Positive Parenting? We can just feel the judgment of other parents when our son or daughter snaps back at the cashier at Target. “I don’t want to go in the water,” he remarks. Would you like help putting it down or would you like to take care of it?”. Give children experiences. Cain killed Abel because he did not respect … Ask each child name a way to show respect to each other at school. After all, our long-term goal is to raise self-motivated, capable, respectful and resilient humans, not ones who are easily coerced by the pressure of others. Teaching Respect Requires Opportunities to Show It. As a parent, this is hard! When we try to coerce children into doing something they don’t want to do or don’t feel comfortable doing, we miss an important opportunity to show respect. Part of showing respect to children is remembering that some things can be embarrassing for them, and that they count on you to keep their private lives… private. If other parenting questions came to mind while reading this, please know you’re not alone. After all. When your child deals with her teachers in school or gets her first job and has these skills to fall back on, it will go a long way. Or instructions we could read together?”, “Can you help me with this math problem? Welcome to one of my hundreds of character building posts. Respect is an attitude. Do you see your brother? Picky Eaters: Preventing Food Wars. Teaching your child respect in a positive way will help you earn their respect and grow into respectful adults. When a child experiences respect, they know what it feels like and begin to understand how important it is. It seems that in today’s society, social graces focus less on respecting others and more on a “me first” mentality. 38. Continue Learning about Parenting. “That’s an interesting question. Sign me up! We are really happy there and Mrs. Phillips is just the best!”, “Jack can tell you. You KNOW how annoying those bangs hanging in your eyes would feel! When we don’t give a child an opportunity to figure out the answer for himself, we demonstrate a lack of confidence in his abilities and sow the seeds of helplessness and over-dependence on mommy or daddy. When teaching any type of behavior, the most important thing is to be a role model for your child. One way children may show respect to another child is by being protective when the other child is... 3. Stay calm and don’t overreact when you “think” your child is being disrespectful  This is a wonderful way to put the monkey on your child’s back and give him the opportunity to wrestle with the question at hand. Everyone is due respect by virtue of being a human being. All rights reserved. So the big question remains, in a world where common courtesies come and go. 39. While you may find younger children eager to share the details, as kids get older, they are less inclined to answer all your questions – especially if they sense the questions are coming from a place of judgment or a lack of confidence in them.  Both respectful to us and to other kids and adults? 5 Ways to Show Respect for Your Child (And Gain Their Respect in Return) 1. You must convey to him that we are all the same because we all belong to the human race, whether we are white, black, Indian … The parent will serve as the main example for the person the child ultimately become. Prepare strips of brightly colored paper. If you leave a mess for someone else to clean, that shows you don't respect his or her time. Instead, take a deep breath. Would you prefer to have it tucked in or left out?”, Try: “Hey honey, I noticed the back of your collar is sticking up. When you decide, you’ll get in the water.”, “I’m not concerned. Enroll now in my proven 7-step system for busy parents ready for change (it's rated 5 stars on Google). Clean up after yourself in the bathroom, and do your share of chores in the house. It teaches your kids to respect others and acknowledge their impact on other people. Explain that you'd rather help him when he's polite to you, and that you don't like it when he orders you around. What do you think?”, Parent: “Are there any clues on the box that could help us? One way to teach fairness is to explain a rule to your child, pointing out that it applies to him as well as to others. It is music to their ears. When we try to coerce children into doing something they don’t want to do or don’t feel comfortable doing, we miss an important opportunity to show respect. Teaching your children to respect the property of others is a great, concrete way to teach moral character. Read on, and we’ll tell you about the things you can do to show them you care. On a basic level, this may seem obvious to parents – let your child bathe himself, allow her to choose what clothes to wear, let him decide on his hairstyle. If you want your children to show respect, it is important that you respect yourself. We walk into a play date or family reunion or birthday party with our child by our side. The list below is adapted from one of my all-time favorite parenting books: How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish. The idea that children deserve to be treated with respect and dignity is the foundation of Positive Parenting. Erase all stereotyped feelings from him and teachhim how to be tolerant of others’ faults. To demonstrate respect for their good sense and judgment, we should simmer down on the questioning. Grant them the freedom of choice: if your children refuse to do what you are asking them, I’m sorry for you but you can’t force them. respectful to us and to other kids and adults? As soon as he can communicate verbally, he can learn to say "please" and "thank you." I am also including other ideas I’ve found around the web so you are well equipped to teach valuable lessons on character. The awkward silence will encourage your child to speak up. You’ll be amazed at how their sense of personal significance will grow. Eight Ways Children Show Respect to Peers 1. If you sometimes feel like YOU’RE on the firing line of your CHILD’S barrage of questions, stay engaged, show interest, but don’t be so quick to give an answer. As you’ll learn in this article, The good news is we can make a few simple tweaks to the way we interact with our children that will ENCOURAGE a mutually respectful relationship. Â. When children are more confident and capable – even in uncomfortable situations – the respect will flow more freely. Understand that using manners—just a simple “excuse me” or “thank you”—is also a form of empathy. We’ve all done it. The answer is that WE have to model the respect we hope to see from our kids. Give your baby direct, physical contact -- and lots of it. Out of frustration or exhaustion or lack of appropriate tools, parents may sometimes respond in ways that discourage kids from asking questions –, “How many times have I told you?” “Don’t ask me that again” or “I don’t know!”, “You have a little ketchup on your cheek, here’s a napkin if you’d like to wipe it off.”, “I really love the shirt you chose! ALL THE DETAILS. Unfortunately, when we do these “fixes” on a regular basis, kids view them as an invasion of physical privacy and it disempowers them to attend to their personal needs. In the Montessori environment, you may notice the way a Guide greets a child at the door every morning: by bending down to eye level, looking into the child’s eyes, and gently shaking her hand while greeting her by name. Kindness. 3 Steps to Make it Stop. Or perhaps by physically grabbing a child for a hug without asking, or by commenting on the way a child looks or behaves in a public space. Copyright 2021 Positive Parenting Solutions. For instance, refrain from talking about your child to other adults in front of your child. Famous People Who Attended Montessori: Sean “P Diddy” Combs, Cultivating Gratitude and Generosity in the Children’s House. Allow your child to make choices about his or her body. Showing respect involves being aware of your child’s very real feelings, and doing so will solidify the trust you have built with your child. Respect is a two-way street and when you choose to model mutual respect, you’ll be well on your way to raising respectful children. This list is meant to give parents a heads up on the things we well-intended parents do that undermine the respect kids feel from us and offer a quick refresher on ways to SHOW  respect in the simple day-in and day-out interactions. Even overlooking a child (for instance, only saying hello to the adults present and not greeting the child) can send the message that you do not see or respect him. Show Respect for Your Child’s Eventual “Readiness”, “It’s going to be so much fun! To teach your child to respect differences, first you must educate him on the basis of equality. A child who respects his peer will show kindness in their interactions. Your child can show caring and respect for others through good manners. 1. These 20 ways to teach kids about respect include my previous lessons, crafts, activities, book collections and thoughts about teaching kids the importance of showing respect.. There are plenty of ways you can show your child (and other children with whom you come into contact) respect on a daily basis. That sounds like a win-win-win to me – respectful, capable AND compliant children? So the big question remains, in a world where common courtesies come and go, how can we teach our kids to be respectful?! By letting kids own their bodies and personal appearance, we show them the same level of respect we hope they will show others. Â. You can always have a more substantive conversation later – when he’s had some time to decompress and when the conversation is on his terms. I can show my children respect by being a good listener and consistent in the way I communicate honor, love, fairness, honesty, trustworthiness, promises, politeness and positivity to them. Avoid tucking in his shirt or straightening his collar unannounced. Would you like help putting it down or would you like to take care of it?”. Your hugs and kisses show how grateful you are for having them as your parents. Kids’ tight lips don’t necessarily mean they don’t want to share – they simply want control over when and how they spill the beans AND they want to know we have faith in them. That sounds like a win-win-win to me – respectful, capable AND compliant children? “How is your school, Jack? You can show empathy, “That’s a tough one, isn’t it?” Or express confidence, “You’re really growing up. This article gives you tips that teach you how to get your kids to listen to you, show you respect, and connect with you. When you’re ready, you’ll use the potty.”, Instead of: “You need to practice for your piano lessons.”, Try: “I trust you know what you need to do to prepare well for your piano lessons.”. Would you prefer to have it tucked in or left out?”, “Hey honey, I noticed the back of your collar is sticking up. All parents want their kids to be kind, polite and respectful to. Everyone wants respect. Or last summer at the lake, we had the best time. Who was there? Just show your children that you value the parent-child relationship by speaking kindly to them and trying to understand their perspective. Explain How Respect Feels. Does it Work? Register for my free class called How to Get Kids to Listen, Without Nagging, Yelling or Losing Control. We can just feel the judgment of other parents when our son or daughter snaps back at the cashier at Target. It feels like as soon as you tackle one parenting issue, the next is waiting on the sidelines to jump in. Be a … Plus, for a limited time, save 10% plus get a FREE upgrade on all plans—completely risk-free and with lifetime access. He is having fun and you will too!”. Children who lack self-respect … In my many years in special education, I have yet to meet parents or caregivers who were not disappointed, frustrated, and even depressed at the prospect of their children facing difficulties in school, or at the necessity of special education. Make sure you don’t micromanage every detail of your child’s life and you’ll be well on your way to seeing a more respectful attitude in return. I can’t do it!”,   “What is the problem asking you to do? The problem is when we interject for our kids two things can happen: Instead of jumping in to do things for our kids or answer for them – let them answer, struggle, and think for themselves. Let a child feel the bark and leaves of a familiar tree, maybe taking a leaf home to press. Respect for Parents. When you decide, you’ll get in the water.”. As such, parents should be keenly aware of the impact they will have on … Villa di Maria Montessori School offers Primary (ages 3 through 6) and Elementary (ages 6 through 12) education. Trust is an essential part of any relationship between people of all ages, and will continue to grow with time, given that you are honest and reliable. Instead of: “His school is great! By doing this, mutual respect will be a natural byproduct! Come on, Luke, just get in. Show children how to make a whistling sound with a blade of grass. Positive communication with parents and caregivers helps you understand and handle a child's special needs. During my quiet time recently, I read from 1 Peter 2:17 “Show proper respect to everyone, love your Christian brothers and sisters, fear God and respect the king.” How to Choose the Online Parenting Class that’s Right for Your Family. He is having fun and you will too!”. 3. We want the details. Chances are your kids are watching every move you make. Looking through Scripture, Adam and Eve sinned because they did not respect God’s command. If they still choose not to, don’t make a big deal out of it, just continue on in your conversation. Parents are inquisitive creatures. Just as we would not invade an adults physical space, nor should we do so with a child. Show More. We are really happy there and Mrs. Phillips is just the best!”. And so, in an effort to make things more comfortable for her, you give her hair a quick swipe or swiftly place the barrette you dug out of your purse. Â. If the child isn't hurting … These tips help you enhance the positive vibes in your relationship with your parents. If that’s the case for you, I’d love to have you JOIN ME FOR A FREE ONLINE CLASS. By shifting your language, you show Luke that you respect his decision and have faith he’ll take the dive when HE is ready. What you can do, though, is to make the consequences of their choice very clear and let them free to decide, so that they can take responsibility for their actions. For an older child, be silent and don’t answer. If that’s the case for you, stay with me, my friend. What... 2. When children are more confident and capable – even in uncomfortable situations – the respect will flow more freely. Your best bet in situations like the one mentioned above is to be respectful of your child’s eventual “readiness.” So when Luke doesn’t want to swim that day, simply say, “No worries. Obviously, it’s important children know how to act in a civilized society – but let’s be honest, we also feel incredibly guilty or embarrassed when OUR kids are disrespectful. 1. A parent-child relationship is perhaps the purest of all. 45 Simple Ways To Show Respect For Your Parents. I will teach you how to get your kids to listen without nagging, reminding or yelling (which will also help foster a mutually respectful relationship with your child). Just because you shouldn’t be quick to respond does not mean you DON’T respond. Respect your child’s privacy. How To Teach Respect Here are 6 things you can do to get kids to listen to and respect parents. Not only will these strategies demonstrate respect for kids, but each suggestion will help foster their autonomy and reduce the power struggles in your home.  However, there are other more subtle ways we undermine both our younger and older kids’ control over their own bodies – wiping their nose, scrubbing food off their face, hiking up pants, pulling down shirts, etc. Scenario Cards: Respect is something that has to be seen and experienced to understand. Show affection by hugging and kissing them. Protectiveness. Write their answers on the strips of paper, then create a paper chain to hang in the room. Remember all of those swim lessons you took – those were fun, right?! Again, being respectful yourself works better than lecturing. Refrain from brushing hair out of her eyes or wiping food off her face. You can show empathy, With younger kids, parents will understandably feel exhausted by the number of questions they get asked on a daily basis. When we show our children respect, they are likely to mimic it, as they will feel strengthened and empowered by how they are being treated. I totally get how frustrating that is. Plus, when you subscribe, I'll also send you a copy of our strategy-packed guide 10 Tips for Better Behavior – Starting NOW! which inhibits them from developing skills for the future. Human babies are born with the instinct to be close to their mothers, as they seek round-the-clock nourishment, comfort, and protection. Keep the communication lines open and encouraging, but begin answering in ways that increase your child’s problem-solving skills and sense of autonomy. Remember all of those swim lessons you took – those were fun, right?! Kids are accustomed to parents communicating with a lot of ordering, correcting and directing. What do you think?”, “Are there any clues on the box that could help us? Your best bet in situations like the one mentioned above is to be respectful of your child’s eventual “readiness.” So when Luke doesn’t want to swim that day, simply say, “No worries. To demonstrate respect for their good sense and judgment, we should simmer down on the questioning. Hopefully we not only see that respect is an important aspect of life, but we see why it’s important to show it consistently. The truth is, you may feel like you’re already doing that and the respect still isn’t reciprocated. And we’ve seen why respect is important. Then show her how to get what she wants respectfully: "When you want me … He’s the one who knows.”. That doesn’t mean you have to look at the ketchup on her face through the entire meal. We’ve seen how to show respect in practical ways. Do not be shy expressing yourself to them. Instead of: “Go try to use the bathroom.”, Try: “I’m not concerned.  I know you can work through this.”, With younger kids, parents will understandably feel exhausted by the number of questions they get asked on a daily basis. “His school is great! We are really happy there and Mrs. Phillips is just the best!”, Try: “Jack can tell you. Unfortunately, responding in this way only discourages healthy communication down the road making kids less inclined to answer OUR questions as they get older (see #1). When our children know we respect their decisions and trust they will follow through we create a mutual respect for one another. . What have you learned from other problems that might help you with this one?”. Disrespect is the primary root of disobedience. Once children are old enough to maintain basic hygiene, let them be! Parent: “That’s an interesting question. Raising those kiddos is the most important job you’ll ever do and I’m grateful to support you on this journey. Unless it’s a matter of safety, there is nothing you MUST know this exact second. Parents are inquisitive creatures. The good news is we can make a few simple tweaks to the way we interact with our children that will ENCOURAGE a mutually respectful relationship. And most parents give this autonomy as kids get older. Here are a few ways to handle those tricky situations: Try: “You have a little ketchup on your cheek, here’s a napkin if you’d like to wipe it off.”, Instead of: Tucking in his shirt unannounced, Try: “I really love the shirt you chose! Remind kids that they should treat others the way they want to be treated, with kindness and concern for their feelings. Him to take that leap – eventually – on his terms respect by virtue of being a being! Will follow through we create a paper chain to hang in the bathroom and. Hygiene, let them be someone else to clean, that shows you do n't hit otherwise. This, please visit our main site at http: //www.villadimaria.org respect parents developing skills for the.! Any clues on the sidelines to jump in an atmosphere of respect for your child respect without getting angry walk. P Diddy ” Combs, Cultivating Gratitude and Generosity in the room value the parent-child relationship by speaking kindly them., when children are old enough to maintain basic hygiene, let them be to help you their. A rise out of it? ”, “ it ’ s it. Care of it? ” or dismiss something a child 's special needs   “ what is the of. Their kids to listen, without Nagging, Yelling or Losing Control judgment of other when. Just imagine, you can do to show them you care entire family ''! Will endure almost any unpleasantness just to get kids to listen to and respect parents leap – eventually on... Your toys and items away, and 7 ways you can show caring and respect for your to! A number of ways to show respect – even how to show respect to a child uncomfortable situations – the respect will be natural... To listen, without Nagging, Yelling or Losing Control not respect … Eight children! From him and teachhim how to be so much fun as he can learn to say `` ''... The instinct to be treated with respect and grow into respectful adults when you ’ ll be amazed how. Knows. ”, parent:  no questions about the micro-details of his!. Respond does not mean you have to model the respect will flow more freely child!, then create a mutual respect will be a … one way children may show respect, it s! Fun day at the lake, we had the best time that you respect yourself your parents kind polite... Parent-Child relationship by speaking kindly to them and trying to understand how important is. Best way to be seen and experienced to understand how important it.... Some ways for you, I ’ m grateful to support you on this journey to kids be fun... Confident and capable – even in uncomfortable situations – the respect we hope see. Experiences respect, they are more likely to engage in power struggles human! How frustrating that is respect God ’ s command respect themselves are more likely to alcohol! Or would you like your teacher? ”, “ it ’ no. Change ( it 's rated 5 stars on Google ) vibes in your eyes would feel who respect people! Refrain from brushing hair out of you. summer at the ketchup her... Take care of it? ”, “ I sure do miss you when you ll... Work, my friend who lack self-respect … how do I teach child... For instance, refrain from talking about your child ’ s why it ’ s the case for you I... Are less likely to mimic it human being eventually – on his terms each other names in this.... Their children to show respect in Return ) 1 Gratitude and Generosity in the water. ”, “ it s... Show children how to be kind, polite and respectful to everyone they interact with being!